You Forgot Poland

I was utterly baffled tonight after the first presidential debate to hear the beginnings of a consensus that Kerry won. That was NOT one woman's opinion of what went down. True, Bush had clearly run out of ammo by the end, and true, Kerry scored with nuclear proliferation and Kim " I like to kidnap sexy actresses" Jong Il's nuke collection. And yes, Kerry is taller. But overall, I thought that Kerry's message was confusing- that the war was wrong, but he knows what to do now, even though he never really says what that is, but it involves "allies" who seem to be imaginary - I mean, do you see France and Germany getting in on the action at this juncture? To me, Kerry keeps making the same mistake: he fails to draw an absolute distinction between critiquing the invasion and overthrow of Saddam with the reconstruction effort. You see where I am going here. The invasion and overthrow was (A) correct and (B) something Kerry supported and (C) there's not much we can do about that now, anyway. The reconstruction, even to war supporters like the NY Times' Thomas Friedman, has been a disaster. So why can't he restrain himself and evince support for the removal of Baathists and critique of the nightmare that is the reconstruction? Well, he just can't. He hammers on and on about the wrong points: that the war was wrong, that Iraq has nothing to do with Al Quaeda. Kerry himself admitted that the war was drawing Osama's wrath. We all know that Al Quaeda bombed Madrid because of the war in Iraq. In other words, it's the same old problem. Kerry can't admit that the war was just, that removing the Baathists, despite their secular inclinations, is part of fighting the war on Islamic fundamentalism in a larger sense. And he fails spectacularly to make the point he should be making: that the failed reconstruction effort is endangering us, that it is intensifying hatred of America. That if we fail to establish a peaceful democracy, our war effort will merely have contributed to the confusion and hatred in what Condoleeza Rice loves to call "the most dangerous country in the most dangerous part of the world."

Putney Nope

Lots of actors wanna be musicians. I don't know why. Actors, I guess, are people whose profession is derived primarily from their looks. Musicians, on the other hand, base their careers on sex appeal. Except the ones I represent. I kid, I kid! Anyway, some thespian jammers are awful ( Cybill Shepherd , Minnie Driver); some are comical (Jada Pinkett-Smith, Juliette Lewis, Billy Bob Thornton) and some are just sad. In the latter category, consider the forthcoming release from Robert Downey, Jr. Sony Classical (Yeah, that's right; SONY CLASSICAL) has announced that they are releasing his opus on November 23rd and that it will include covers of Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" and Yes' "Your Move." It seems that little mister "My-More Talented-Daddy-Gave-Me-Pot-When-I Was-8 -So-It's-Not-My-Fault-That-I-Am-A-Junkie-On-Ally-McBeal-Who-Climbs-Into-Children's-Beds-At-Night" has enlisted some pretty heavy hitters at the helm. In additon to noted (yet apparently hard up for cash) jazz musician Charlie Haden, the album will be produced by Mark Hudson. Now this entire comedic episode was brought to my attention by my wonderful boyfriend, Charles, who then had to explain to me that The Hudson Brothers had a 70's variety TV show, in which they wore jumpsuits and had handlebar mustaches. Now, however, they have remade themselves as sort of Desmond Child--like hitmakers. I guess that, like Huey Lewis sang so rightly, the heart of rock and roll *IS* still beating.

Anderson "Rock and Roll" Cooper

4 Facts About Anderson Cooper:

1. His mom is Gloria Vanderbilt
2. No journalism training or experience prior to anchoring on CNN
3. Used to host "Celebrity Mole; Hawaii" starring Stephen Baldwin and Corben Bernsen
4. Beloved by crazed Fans

Windsurfing The Peace Train

Yesterday was the best TV day I have had in a while. The inevitability of John Kerry's windsurfing ways coming back to bite him in the ass was too funny. Only a few days before, my best friend Frank, who has a way better blog than I do, was known to say "Somebody has to stop that man from windsurfing. Now." The accusation of constant vacillating has largely been lost on me; after all, what politicians aren't hopelessly compromising themselves at all times? However, in the President's rose garden speech today with Allawi, for the first time, he struck a blow to Kerry that did give me pause. He intimated that Kerry might be an appeaser, leaving us open to an attack like that in Spain. It did resonate with me at least that no one could possibly think that bombing our subways could make Bush change policy; but would they think that Kerry would? Don't get me wrong, I am voting for John F. "Ichabod Crane" Kerry. But, to me, it was a blow that landed hard.
Another part of yesterday's viewing that I enjoyed was the rare glimpse at Cat Stevens. I noticed that only about half of the TV journalism pieces I saw mentioned that he endorsed the fatwa against Salman Rushdie. I especially enjoyed the footage of his describing how he begged the record company to stop making his records. It's sad how the Man sticks it to Artists by forcing them to keep their shitty hit records in print. I will always be soft on Cat, though, because the first time I ever visited NYC, which is now my home, he spoke to me. I was visiting my friend Haven, who was visiting her rich boho painter Dad, who didn't offer to pick me up at the airport. I had to take a cab by myself to Tribeca, fresh off the plane from RDU, having travelled previously only intra-state, to the NC beach and the NC mountains, that's it. My cab driver, who was learning English on the job, couldn't understand my accent I guess and gave up trying to find the location I had given him. He discharged me, and left me, crying, on the curb. However, he did give me a copy of "Islam; My Religion" by Yusef Islam, which I sat and read until I got myself together enough to use a pay phone and make my way in the Big Apple. Thanks, Yusef!

Welcome to Ytossie Fandango!

Hello and welcome to Ytossie Fandago, my blog about TV, politics and rock music criticism. Why Ytossie Fandango? Well, Ytossie Fandango was the title of a press release I once wrote for Lookout! Records. The title, of course, was in reference to my favorite cast member of the ORIGINAL "Temptation Island," Ytossie, an LA native, who was "30," who belonged in restraints in a mental health facility, and who was later thrown off the show for neglecting to mention that she had a kid with Taheed. (This season was brilliantly skewered on Salon.com by the super talented and now with Entertainment Weekly critic Carina Chocano.) So, I sent the press release out only to be abused by LA weirdo and ex-Mr. Courtney Love, "Falling James" of the massively unsuccessful band The Leaving Trains, from his lofty perch at LA Weekly. He accused me of insiderism and writing infuriating nonsense--arguing in an unhinged way that no one on his staff knew what I was talking about. He later cemented his reputation in my mind as the second biggest crackpot in rock journalism (you're still having fun and you're still #1, Mr. Jane Dark) by emailing that I should never reference my pride in my Turkish American heritage because, "Study your history! The Turks are guilty of genocide!" What that has to do with growing up in Raleigh, NC, listening to my Da misconfigure English verbs, and make his own weirdly parsley-intense salad dressings, is lost on me. In any case, I was rebuked, along political lines, by a music critic who didn't get my reality TV reference--see the beauty? Ytossie? Fandango!
More to come, I promise. I have comments on the Kerry windsurfing ad, the Cat Stevens/Yusef Islam deplaning, and so much more....Ytossie Fandango, my darlings! xo Tristin